Hope is a thing that lives in the heart. By sheer coincidence it is also the thing that causes the heart to break.
This isn’t to say hope fails to be a lovely thing at times—it can provide comfort and respite in times of need.
To be hopeless would leave one’s desperate soul so frail, so desperate for any thing to hold onto. But you have to ensure that hope that you have in your heart remains clear-headed and realistic. You see, there is never a shortage of hope, but is it responsible of us, in all fairness, to hope for things that are not remotely possible realistically.
To hope so frequently and so often for what is unrealistic… it is in this sense that hope appears to hinder us. Yes, we can hope we pass a test having not studied at all, but the outcome of guessing would entail sheer luck, and the hope that it is correct. We can hope we end up with a person even if they are the wrong person for us. Even if they don’t hope the same — ultimately dooming ourselves from the beginning. To hope too vast and too quick, with no basis in reality, is a death sentence.
The inaction that instills itself when one begins to hope and pray nothing may cause ones downfall, rather than inciting a plan to reach a goal, keeps us from reaching what we hope to achieve. A hope is not a goal; it is just that. A hope.
Why do we let ourselves so desperately have an immense amount of hope even when it has no justification under certain circumstances? Do we desire to be let down, disappointed?
We allow ourselves to have hope for a few reasons. Perhaps if we have hope, those around us will also have hope, making a sharp pain a little bit more bearable. We allow ourselves to hope as a means of distraction from what is readily present, because we want more than what we already have.
Many of us hope for the grandest things only to be let down by the lack of appearance of a once-loved lover, a dream car, or the passing of an ill loved one. That is why to be realistic is far better for our sanity.
In the book Prophets by Robert Jones Jr, Samuel explains what hope does stating “hope made him feel chest open, unsheltered in a way that could let anything including failure, makes its home inside, become seen and take root, curl its vines around that which is vital and squeeze until the only option was to spit up you innards before choking on them.” You see, hope leaves you vulnerable — eligible for the most wishful bastard or situation to come along and destroy you. It takes us, to a certain point, where we end up giving up ourselves — tearing our souls bit by bit, taking everything we have. Hope is a terrible most disruptive and dreadful thing when not treating carefully.
And when this occurs, we feel a vast hopelessness, setting us back, and never allowing us to hope again.
So we must be cautious of how we ration our hopes.
To have excessive hope, like to have excessive hubris, is unnecessary and only sets oneself up for failure. Though it may be cliche, they aren’t wrong when they say “hope breeds eternal misery.” We end up waiting for things that don’t make sense, saying whimsical wishes of a world that does not have a basis in reality. We push these hopes and desires — of marriage, of money, of world domination or world peace — onto ourselves only to allow us to crumble at the disappointment.
We tell ourselves and others to have hope for the future, have hope for the best possible outcomes, but that can lead to a greater opportunity for pain and hardship.
Hoping is just about the easiest thing one can do when they want something. There is almost nothing to it—simply a thought or a sentence, that is what hope is for many of us. For others it is a stronger deeper feeling, perhaps connected to spirituality, a belief in the divine, or based in scientific reasoning. Not much can come of the hope that is just a sentence.
All this to say. Hope does not have feathers. It is not a living, breathing, thing. It is something else. An idea, a thought, a sentence.
For a hope to be fair, you must put in some action. You cannot hope things will be okay with no effort on your end. That is like saying a prayer and not putting in any work.
Hope is a thing that preys on our wildest vulnerabilities. We must not lose it to keep our emotional ecosystems in tact. But we must use it carefully.
Losing hope in its entirety is to lose all faith in the universe, in God, in humanity. To keep a shred of hope in all instances allows your beliefs to remain, but enables clear understanding of situations without simply wishing for the desired outcome.
So what is there to do, but keep hope to a minimum. For the fear of disappointments sake.
